The Language of Lawyers
by finding
Summary: It's tough being a lawyer. Especially if you're Phoenix Wright and you're stuck in a stupid party dealing with 'friendship' problems. And cryptic messages.


**The Language of Lawyers**

_written for the Hanakotoba challenge at the POT Stands for Pointless but Original Talking! forum._

• flower: edelweiss•

It's tough being a lawyer. Especially if you're Phoenix Wright and you're stuck in a stupid party dealing with 'friendship' problems. And cryptic messages.

••

When Maya suggested a 'celebration', Phoenix had a bad gut feeling. When she further suggested a 'celebration party', Phoenix wondered briefly why that fall from Dusky Bridge hadn't killed him.

'Maya…' He said, trying to keep the agony out of his features. 'I – I don't think it's a good idea. Really.'

'Why not, Nick?' Maya clapped her hands together, the smile on her face lighting up her eyes. 'It'll be fun! We can invite Pearly, and Detective Gumshoe, and Mr. Edgeworth, and -'

'No, no, I'm sure it'll be,' he hastened to correct her in case her fury got out of hand. 'But aren't these people lawyers?'

'So?' Her mouth scrunched tightly into a pout. Bad sign. Phoenix wanted to hide. 'You're such a spoilsport sometimes, you know, Nick!'

Phoenix sighed. He took a silent inward moment to weigh his options: being hated by Maya, his favorite ( and only, he reminded himself ) assistant in law, or just gritting his teeth and going with ridiculous tuxedos and, er, dancing. He had conveniently forgotten to inform Maya that he had two left feet. Or five.

'. . . Just tell me there won't be disco balls.'

-

So here Phoenix was, in the middle of a tacky downtown country club's dance floor, looking absolutely ridiculous in his courtroom blue suit. With a flower pinned tackily onto his breast pocket that he didn't even know the name of. He had refused to spend a single cent on a proper tuxedo, and though Maya tried, she hadn't had enough money to pay for one, either. Not even a rented one.

'What do I do now?' He muttered, really regretting giving in to Maya then.

'Something other than standing here, clearly.' A voice said smoothly from behind him. Phoenix turned, already expecting the sight. Still, he gaped at Edgeworth in all of his tuxedoed glory, with a matching cravat in place of a tie to boot.

'Uh, I appreciate the advice, but can you not jump people next time?! …It's kind of creepy.' He gave up when Edgeworth didn't reply, opting to silently follow his friend. They sat down at the same table, still rather empty for the time being ( Edgeworth was never late, and Phoenix only arrived early because Maya would've killed him – or dressed him in something far more embarrassing – otherwise ).

'Nick, Nick! Niiiiick!' Maya's voice only got louder when Phoenix, thoroughly embarrassed now, tried to duck under the table. 'Where are you, Nick? Isn't this outfit so cute? I love it, so I know you must like it too! Nick?!'

He finally got up from his uncomfortable position. _I must be the first lawyer in history to have ducked under a table at a party_. What he saw nearly made him go down under again. Maya was glowing in her Pink Princess costume.

'Excellent detail,' Edgeworth appraised from where he sat opposite Phoenix, one leg over the other and looking quite earnest. 'The threads are especially fine around the bust.'

_Are you serious?_ Phoenix wanted to burst out, barely holding his tongue. He wanted to leave already.

And then a sharp crack made him look up.

'Foolishly foolish fools! What sort of foolish fool would hold a birthday party in a foolishly rundown place such as this?' Someone bellowed, and Phoenix felt an extra sharp bit of whip say hello to his left cheek.

'Why are you whipping me?!'

'Be quiet, Phoenix Wright! You have brought me unto this foolishness!'

'What are you talking about?!' And then a piece of pink, flowery paper was shoved in his face. Maya's invitation. _With love, Nick_…? Couldn't the genius Franziska von Karma tell that Phoenix never ever called himself Nick?!

Phoenix sighed. He lost, alright? He was leaving. Franziska had smugly taken his place, now immersed in facing off Edgeworth.

The door opened of its own accord. Phoenix wanted to scream.

'Hey, watch it out, pal!' God, Gumshoe's coat _smelled_. 'Oh hey, it's you, pal. Isn't the entrance facing that way?'

'…I know that.'

'It's fine to admit that you're lost, pal! You know, when we were in fifth grade, I led my class on an adventure and all, and then we got –'

'All right, all right, I get it.' Thank heaven his class was still alive. Probably.

Phoenix decided that he would hide in the toilet.

He was finally getting some form of peace and quiet ( not that the toilet door did much to shut out the frightening amount of noise from outside; what happened to civilized guardians of law, really ), when the Butz burst in and hollered at him.

'Duuude! I know you're being nice and letting me be the life of the party and all, but don't make it _this_ obvious, won't you?'

Dunking his head in the toilet bowl would've been better than this.

He tried to shut out Larry's incessant babbling about his eighteen flings in vain. That was, until the door creaked open again and a certain _presence_ made Phoenix look up.

'I suggest you leave him alone for now.' Edgeworth saves the day again, huh. As soon as Larry's voice seemed to diminish, Phoenix stepped out of the cubicle, looking sheepish.

'Er . . . Thanks.' He said to nobody in particular, though it might have been directed at the figure filling up the doorway ( and it wasn't a _bad_ sight at all, Edgeworth and his cravat - Phoenix thought, then mentally kicked himself ).

'Why are you hiding in here, Wright?'

Nailed it on the first try. 'I don't know, Edgeworth, you tell me.' Hello sarcasm. 'Seriously. I meet you, after two months, at a tacky party in a tacky old suit eating catered food from _Tres Bien_. Could this day get any better?'

Miles didn't reply, only stared at his friend slash rival slash partner in law for a few seconds. He stepped forward and allowed the door to click shut behind him, leaning his frame against the basin sill. He folded his arms and stared some more, as if contemplating.

'What?!'

That elicited a response. 'Indeed, that suit is becoming rather shabby. I had the thought to mention your dire need for a new set, but never brought it up lest you lose credibility before your clients.' Edgeworth paused, and Phoenix inwardly cursed him. He could've said something more decent, like a _consolation_, maybe? That word probably didn't exist in the prosecutor's dictionary though.

'I must admit, however, that the edelweiss brooch is a pleasant touch. It adds meaning.' There was a hint of a smile, but Phoenix missed it.

Trust Edgeworth to comment on a flower, of all things. Phoenix glared at his so-called childhood friend.

'. . . Is that it?'

Edgeworth's look said it all. 'Am I expected to say anything else?'

That made him angry. Irrationally so, but really, he had thought that after the State vs. Iris case, they'd mended their friendship and were approaching a new understanding. Apparently not. Edgeworth was still going to keep his mouth shut about everything. No normal conversation like what friends had, nope.

'You know what; just take the stupid flower if you like it this much. You haven't changed one bit, Edgeworth.' Phoenix unpinned the brooch in one unusually quick movement, dumping it onto the countertop. 'I'm getting out of here.'

-

An hour and _'tres bien'_ courses later, Phoenix grudgingly found himself on the floor with a couple of drunken law upholders and a few more on sugar-high, playing Truth or Dare.

Yeah. Maya's idea.

Not to mention the fact that Truth or Dare with lawyers was a dangerous thing in itself. You told the truth, or risked being called to court for fabricating testimony.

Phoenix watched in despair as Pearl shut her eyes with a cheeky grin and spun herself around, pointing randomly at a person. Was it so tough to get a proper bottle? Fortunately, Maya hadn't proposed a game of Spin the Bottle. Spending the rest of the night under Franziska's whip would've been quite terrible.

A giggle erupted from the center of the circle ( Phoenix sincerely hoped they didn't look like an occult group ) as Pearl's tiny finger landed on Gumshoe. 'Detective Gumshoe!' she announced out cheerily. 'Um . . . Truth or dare?'

'Dare, pal! I might get my pay docked, but give me a dare any day!' Gumshoe replied in the same cheery fashion that made Phoenix giddy.

'Oh?' Desiree DeLite's voice had that naughty quality to it. 'If you say so, Detective, do give that sweet lady prosecutor a peck on the cheek. Nothing more than that, please!' Her laughter was good-natured, but no one joined in.

Phoenix looked away as the whip cracked sharply and Gumshoe wailing his protest to 'Your pay will suffer for this, Scruffy!'

A few unnecessary revelations, along the lines of Mia's _actual_ size and Phoenix coming in last in class for Health Education, were made. It was high time Edgeworth's unhealthy closet obsession with the Steel Samurai came to light, anyway.

Phoenix thanked the many deities that he'd gotten through nearly unscathed and prayed that they were getting tired of this, when Pearl's pointer finger landed squarely on him.

'Mr. Nick!' He could swear it was pure delight in Pearl's voice. 'Pick truth, please pick truth! Do we get to ask you questions?'

'Yeah, Nick!' Maya pumped her fist into the air. 'Hey, I'll go first, alright? Ummm . . . How much do you _actually_ earn per month? I mean, you couldn't even afford anything fancier than ramen, and the office toilet hasn't mmrph –'

Her question was conveniently skipped, thanks to an eager Larry. 'Eh, you know I don't mean anything bad, right, but this _really_ gets me every time! How do you _really_ win all those cases, huh? Do you bribe the judge? Or sleep with the prosecutors? Come on, man, don't be so shy!'

Phoenix died a little more inside at the thought of even being on the same bed with Winston Payne. 'No, Larry. Actually, I'm a defense attorney.'

'Mr Nick!' _Pow_. 'You – you traitor!' _Pow_. 'How could you betray Mystic Maya's love? You're the worst!' Little Pearls' punches _hurt._ Phoenix winced, then sighed. How did she even know what Larry meant? Kids those days . . .

There was a brief quiet. 'Uh, can I speak now?' It was Gumshoe, to everyone's surprise. No one bothered to respond. 'You know, pal, I keep hearing about this friendship between you and Mr. Edgeworth, and I don't doubt it or anything, if you know what I mean. But – okay, pal, maybe I doubt it a little . . .'

Where was he going with this? Phoenix stayed silent.

'I mean, you two sure don't _act_ like pals.' Gumshoe fidgeted. 'Er, you can dock my pay, but this IS Truth or Dare, right? So, um . . . Are you really friends?'

After a huge amount of dawdling, Gumshoe only came up with a simple question. Typical.

Phoenix still didn't answer. It was the same question that bothered him every time Miles Edgeworth came into the picture. What did he mean to him? He'd been labeled rival, friend, partner, but if Edgeworth wouldn't treat him like he was one, they meant nothing. His irritation turned to frustration with this haughty, incomprehensible man.

Sure, he wasn't the best at being all friendly, but at least he tried, didn't he? 'Save this question for –'

'This matter does not require judgment beyond Wright's and mine.' Edgeworth remarked, flatly. 'I cannot say on his behalf, but through these years Wright has only given me one thing -'

He stood up to leave, dark eyes carefully emotionless. '– This.' The edelweiss brooch, petals uneven and edges ruffled, fell from his previously fisted hand.

* * *

The edelweiss means 'power/courage' in the Japanese language of flowers.


End file.
